04 April 2011

Who, Me?

People with tattoos have always fascinated me. I feel like in order to do something so permanent, you have to really, really know yourself well. I think a part of my problem is that I could never make up my mind enough to get one. I seriously don't even like stickers for that fact that you have to choose where to put it, and stick {pun intended} to that decision. I had a whole collection of stickers when I was little that were still in the package.

I'm very much a people pleaser, so when I'm in a relationship with someone, it's like I lose a little bit of myself. I'm so focused on what they're doing and what they want, unless I'm with someone really disciplined, nobody is focusing on me.

I'm also a big believer in horoscopes. {I'll pause here for an eye roll...} I know some people don't even know their sign, and some people take it too far in the other direction and won't date certain people because of their sign. I lie somewhere between the extremes. I do check my horoscope daily, and feel encouraged when it aligns with my life at the moment. There was a time a few years back, where I felt so in tune with myself and everything around me. Every day my horoscope reading was accurate. My sign, Leo, is notorious for being able to sense what people around them want, and what will win them affection, attention, etc. For this reason, I'm very intuitive around people, especially those I'm close to, but I'm also in danger of forgoing what I want and losing myself.

I suppose it's a matter of finding the balance, but it makes me wonder why some people know themselves better than others. Does it come down to the way we are raised? Does having a boyfriend or girlfriend with a strong influence over us at a young age do it? Or is it something that just kind of thing that ebbs and flows over a lifetime?

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