20 June 2010

The Mating Game

I could talk dating/relationships, and especially breakups for DAYS. I've had my fair share of long term relationships, and dating sprees. Lately, with all my solitude here in LA, I've been giving my adventures in dating some thought...

It went something like this:

Highschool – He can drive, I can't. He's a bad boy, I'm a goodie two shoes. Opposites attract?

College – He's hot and he seems to want nothing to do with me. I'm in.

Post-college - {I believe in Karma, but I chose not to when I look at this period in my life} He approached me, that's ballsy! Wait, you're falling for me? But it's our first date. Ahhhh GET AWAY FROM MEEEE!!!!!

Max – He's certainly unlike any guy I've ever met, and he kept me guessing in the beginning so I didn't run for the hills within a few dates. He helps me realize things I need to work on, while also making me feel like the sexiest woman on the planet. He gets all dressed up with me to drink martinis on a Saturday night, and watches football on the couch with me all day Sunday. Plus he's a GREAT cook :)

Now, instead of considering just a few qualities in a guy {attractive, sweet, gets my sense of humor} I find myself analyzing a whole new array for characteristics {Can we make this work long term? Will he be a good father? Do we make a good team? Is he a best friend AND a lover?}

It's creepy. I'm getting old.

13 June 2010

The Little Things

Today I went to the beach. By myself. {That alone is enough to make some people gasp/shudder/cringe.} I enjoy solitude. And there's something about the ocean that is so soothing to me. Don't get me wrong, you'll never catch me in the water except for equator-esque conditions, but the crashing of the waves makes me feel at peace.

I distinctly remember laying on my towel with the waves crashing in the background, a slight ocean breeze, the warm sun beating down on my skin, and Coldplay quietly playing in my ears, thinking to myself: I am perfectly content in this moment.

I think this ability is extremely important in life, especially to cherish moments alone. Would I have loved my family, friends & boyfriend to be there sharing with me? Of course! But that doesn't stop me from being happy through-and-though in one private, happy moment.

{Now of course I have a wicked sunburn because I refuse to apply any SPF higher than 4, and as capable as I am of enjoying life's simple pleasures, that's probably a lesson I'll NEVER learn}

08 June 2010

LA LA Land

So I'm here in LA, 3 days in, and I'm feeling... odd about it. I'm not sure if it's because of the way it happened so quickly, or something else altogether, but this time around isn't what I remembered or expected.

I've been out here numerous times when my older sister lived here, and I loved the laid back nature of everyone, and the warm weather. I loved that even though it's a city, there are fragrant flowers and green grass everywhere. I loved how easy it was to be outside, whether you're at the mall, or in the hallway of your apartment.

This time around, however is different. My first day here, we went to the Mondrian Hotel pool. The setting was gorgeous, but I've never seen anything like the people. It was 'true LA' - girls done up like they're going to prom, with curled hair and loads of makeup. And more fake boobs than I've ever seen in my life collectively. It's fascinating to watch, but it's also easy to see how someone could get lost in such a world.

Even my friend whom I'm staying with has changed noticeably. At home, she dressed casually and never wore makeup. Now she's always in some sexy teeny outfit, sky high heels, and wears makeup every day. Everyone seems very materialistic here - trendy clothing, expensive cars, the works. Although I know these surface-level things don't make these people better than me, I can't help but notice I lack of these things, and I wouldn't be truthful if I said it didn't bother me.

I'm struggling to hang onto my roots and find my place here, while I am here. I think I need to make it a point to listen to music more, go for walks, and visit the beach, all of which ground me. It's hard to keep in touch with my family/friends, because when I get home and relax and want to talk on the phone, everyone is already headed to bed. I'm sure things will turn around, I'm just experiencing a mix of unfulfilled expectations and some homesickness.

02 June 2010

La Femme = Fatale

When digging through my personal ex-files, you're bound to come across a few feminine guys.. what can I say? Sometimes you need a resource - when you don't have the energy to pick out an outfit, or a great restaurant. And so what if sometimes that resource is your boyfriend?

With that confession out of the way, I miss manly men. Seriously, I'm a huge fan of fashion, but this androgynous trend is really starting to get to me. I prefer my men without nail polish {ever.} and my bag is big enough - he doesn't need his own. That's what pockets are for. Please tell me I'm not alone on this crusade? I'm all about expressing yourself through your clothing, but yours should NEVER fit more tightly than mine.

Which one makes YOU drool?

*Photos courtesy of Le 21eme Arrondissement

01 June 2010

California Gurl

So, dreams are coming true. Slowly, anyway. At the very least, things are looking up. It seems my luck has FINALLY taken a turn, and I couldn't be happier about it.

After temping at a job I fell completely in love with, {AND they love me back – why can't all relationships be this easy? I mean, yeah I had to skip lunch a few days and get everything done, but I'm only skinnier for it!} I was in a predicament. They wanted to keep me, I wanted to stay, but there really isn't a position open at the moment. Their solution? Fly me out to their LA office to work for a month, and hopefully something will open up.

Is. This. My. Life?? It sounds familiar.. It sounds like my life used to!

Besides the obvious plus {Umm California!} my best friend moved to LA in January, and I haven't had the money to come visit her. NOW, I get to live with her for a month! I'm looking forward to weekends on the beach and going out with my girl. I'm obviously there to work, and work is my first priority, but I DO need a tan for a wedding I'm in in July, and California IS one of my favorite places, and LS IS one of my favorite trouble makers!

I found out today I could be leaving as soon as next Monday. First, I completely panicked, because it FINALLY hit me that I'm actually going. But now I'm just excited {even if a little nervous.} The feeling is bittersweet, though, because I'll be leaving my cat and boyfriend at home. But it's good for him to miss me {the boyfriend, not the cat} and he's great at keeping in touch, and I love that he's supportive and secure enough to let me do this.

Looking forward to updating soon!