08 June 2010

LA LA Land

So I'm here in LA, 3 days in, and I'm feeling... odd about it. I'm not sure if it's because of the way it happened so quickly, or something else altogether, but this time around isn't what I remembered or expected.

I've been out here numerous times when my older sister lived here, and I loved the laid back nature of everyone, and the warm weather. I loved that even though it's a city, there are fragrant flowers and green grass everywhere. I loved how easy it was to be outside, whether you're at the mall, or in the hallway of your apartment.

This time around, however is different. My first day here, we went to the Mondrian Hotel pool. The setting was gorgeous, but I've never seen anything like the people. It was 'true LA' - girls done up like they're going to prom, with curled hair and loads of makeup. And more fake boobs than I've ever seen in my life collectively. It's fascinating to watch, but it's also easy to see how someone could get lost in such a world.

Even my friend whom I'm staying with has changed noticeably. At home, she dressed casually and never wore makeup. Now she's always in some sexy teeny outfit, sky high heels, and wears makeup every day. Everyone seems very materialistic here - trendy clothing, expensive cars, the works. Although I know these surface-level things don't make these people better than me, I can't help but notice I lack of these things, and I wouldn't be truthful if I said it didn't bother me.

I'm struggling to hang onto my roots and find my place here, while I am here. I think I need to make it a point to listen to music more, go for walks, and visit the beach, all of which ground me. It's hard to keep in touch with my family/friends, because when I get home and relax and want to talk on the phone, everyone is already headed to bed. I'm sure things will turn around, I'm just experiencing a mix of unfulfilled expectations and some homesickness.

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